Well sometimes, I'm not so jubilant.

Howdy! My name is Julia, but you can just call me JuJu! I tend to be an outgoing, happy gall but sometimes, depression and anxiety knocks on my door. Yes, I do read my bible, pray, journal, and discuss my love for God and how much I love his Son, Jesus. Yet, I do have those days where I feel alone. Growing up in the south east of Houston, Texas, I was never truly liked. I went to a private school from kindergarten through the sixth grade. My class size was about twenty or so people. I was really the only fat girl in my class. Yes, I admit it. I'm fat! I weigh about seventy pounds over weight. I've never been the skinny, popular girl that had a ton of friends. I was always made fun of and never invited to a lot of things. I was only invited to birthday parties and such because their parents made them. I was truly alone. Moving from private school to public school was extremely shocking. I learned so much about the world and individuality. I became myself. I final saw that it was okay to be different. Even after this realization, I was still struggled with the whole "friendship" idea and trusting people. The only person who was truly my friend, and who still is today, is my good friend Cynthia. I met her in the first grade but I really started becoming friends with her in the sixth grade. So other than her, I always struggled with who was being a real friend to me and who was just faking it. I've taught myself to second guess everything. (I know it's okay to do this sometimes, but not all the time.) It became a habit of mine. Moving from from intermediate school to high school, I made more friends but I was still questioning my so called "friends"; I was always on my toes.

Cynthia and I back in 2012

High school was a dream! I was in the marching band all four years and was in a competition dance company and met so many people that I'm still friends with today. We may not speak to each other as often but when we do see each other, it's like we're back in high school. Like every senior in high school, I started applying to colleges. My father didn't want me leaving Houston; which really only gave me the University of Houston, Texas Southern University, Rice, St. Thomas, San Jacinto, Houston Community College, and not much more to choose from. But here's the thing, I wanted more for myself! As much as I love the city of Houston, I wanted to move out of south Texas. So I applied to as many colleges as I could in the state of Texas that were at least two hours away from Houston. I wanted distance so I could learn how to really be on my own and learn from what life was going to throw at me. I was accepted to Tarleton State in the fall semester of my senior year in high school. 

Once I moved to Stephenville, Texas in August of 2011, I felt more alone than ever. I moved five hours away from home, had no one to rely on and lost my faith in God. Once I lost my faith, I was in a dark place. At the time, I was prescribed a medication to help with my family history of insulin resistance. I was tired of being the fat girl with no friends. So for some God forsaken reason, I decided to double my intake of the medication. I lost weight,like a lot of weight! All I was really consuming was junk food, red bull, and that medication. I was a mess... I started making friends in my hall of my dorm in October of my first semester but I never really showed what I was going through. I would spend the night as guys rooms that I didn't even like that much, I dated someone who used me as a rebound, and at one point, almost killed myself. Yep, I was in a dark place. 

During my sophomore year, my friend Katlyn started to invite me to church. (By invited, I mean dragged.) It took a lot for me to build the courage to walk into a church where I felt like God was judging me for what I've done. But instead, I felt loved by the community. For the first time in a long time, I felt like people loved me. They had no idea who I was or what I've done but the love was truly present. That coming summer in 2013, I decided to work at a Baptist encampment in Brownwood, Texas. That summer was where I really felt like I made things right with God again. I learned that he didn't leave me, I left him. I apologized and asked for forgiveness. That fall, I started going to the Wesley Foundation (a Methodist student organization on campus) were I made real friends real fast. Life long friendships. I've never felt more a part of something in my entire life and now I work there full time. 

This is only a hand full of my friends at the Wesley

So there's my story. I hope I didn't scare you away. I'm such a different person since I've rededicated my life to God and serving Him. Life has thrown so many obstacles at me. The only times I conquered obstacles was when I let God conquer them, not me. Hello, my name is Julia but you can just call me child of God, friend of Jesus, or encompassed by the Holy Spirit. But if those names are too long, you can just call me JuJu.